Interactive transcript · 238 lines
Welcome back to TalkCast Speaking, your favorite spot for making English warm, natural, and truly useful.
欢迎回到 TalkCast 口语栏目，这是你让英语变得温和、自然且真正有用的首选之地。
I'm your host, Rachel.
我是你们的主持人，瑞秋。
Have you ever been in a situation where a friend or co -worker was crying or deeply sad and you just froze?
你是否曾遇到过这样一种情况：朋友或同事在哭泣或极度悲伤，而你却呆住了？
You wanted to offer comfort, but the only words that came out were, don't be sad, or cheer up.
你想提供安慰，但脱口而出的只有“别难过”或“振作点”。
If that sounds familiar, you are definitely not alone.
如果这听起来很熟悉，你绝对不是一个人。
Joining me today is Lucas.
加入我今天的节目的是卢卡斯。
Welcome to the show, Lucas.
欢迎来到本节目，卢卡斯。
Hi, Rachel.
嗨，瑞秋。
Thanks for having me.
谢谢你邀请我来。
And wow, you just described my exact nightmare from last week.
哇，你刚好描述了我上周的真实噩梦。
I was so embarrassed.
我当时太尴尬了。
Oh, really?
哦，真的吗？
What happened, Lucas?
发生什么了，卢卡斯？
Spill the beans.
透露一下实情吧。
Well, as a graphic designer at an international company, I work closely with colleagues from all
嗯，作为一家国际公司的平面设计师，我与来自各方的
over the world.
全世界的同事紧密合作。
Last Tuesday, my desk neighbor, Sarah, was sitting at her computer crying silently.
上周二，我的邻桌莎拉坐在电脑前默默哭泣。
She told me her cat had passed away that morning.
她告诉我她的猫那天早上去世了。
I panicked.
我当时恐慌了。
I wanted to say something nice, so I blurted out, oh, don't cry.
我想说点好听的，于是脱口而出：哦，别哭了。
Don't be sad.
别难过。
You can buy a new cat.
你可以买只新猫。
Oh, man.
哦，天哪。
Oh, dear.
哦，天哪。
How did Sarah react to that?
莎拉对此有什么反应？
She looked at me like I had two heads, cried even harder, and walked away to the restroom.
她看着我，就像我长了两个脑袋一样，哭得更厉害了，然后走开去了洗手间。
I felt terrible.
我觉得太糟糕了。
I realized later that buy a new cat was definitely the wrong thing to say, but in the moment, I
我后来意识到买一只新猫绝对是错的话，但在当时，我
genuinely didn't know how to express sympathy in English.
真的不知道该如何用英语表达同情。
Don't beat yourself up, Lucas.
别太责怪自己了，卢卡斯。
That is actually a classic mistake many English learners make.
这实际上是许多英语学习者都会犯的经典错误。
We tend to translate directly from Chinese habits or try to fix the problem immediately.
我们往往会直接从中国人的习惯进行翻译，或者试图立刻解决问题。
Today, we are going to fix that.
今天，我们要来解决这个问题。
We're talking all about how to comfort someone who is sad, hurt, or disappointed with real empathy
我们今天要谈论的是如何带着真正的共情去安慰一个悲伤、受伤或失望的人
and native -sounding phrases.
以及听起来很地道的短语。
I'm all ears, Rachel.
我正洗耳恭听呢，瑞秋。
I really need this lesson today.
我今天真的非常需要这堂课。
Let's start with why don't be sad or don't cry often backfires.
让我们从为什么“别难过”或“别哭”经常会适得其反开始。
In English -speaking cultures, telling someone don't be sad or cheer up right when they are hurting
在英语国家文化中，当别人正处于痛苦之中时告诉他们别难过或振作点
can sound like toxic positivity.
听起来可能像是有毒的正能量。
It can feel like you're invalidating their feelings.
这会让人觉得你是在否定他们的感受。
Wait, invalidating?
等等，否定？
What does that word mean exactly?
那个词确切是什么意思？
Great question.
好问题。
Invalidating means making the other person feel like their emotion is wrong, silly, or unacceptable.
否定意味着让对方觉得他们的情绪是错误的、愚蠢的或不可接受的。
When someone is grieving, they need emotional validation.
当有人在悲痛时，他们需要情感上的认可。
They need to feel heard.
他们需要感到自己被倾听。
Telling them don't be sad can accidentally send the message, stop having this emotion because it
告诉他们别难过可能会无意中传达这样一个信息：停止这种情绪，因为
makes me uncomfortable.
这让我感到不舒服。
Ah, I see.
啊，我明白了。
In Chinese, we often say, 别难过 or 解爱, out of kindness, but direct translation into don't be sad
在中国，出于善意，我们经常说“别难过”，但直接翻译成“don't be sad”
sounds dismissive in English.
在英语中听起来很轻蔑。
That's a huge eye -opener. Exactly.
这真让人大开眼界。确实如此。
That's the key cultural contrast.
这就是关键的文化对比。
So instead of telling them how to feel, we want to validate their feelings, acknowledge that their
所以，与其告诉他们该有什么感受，不如去肯定他们的感受，承认他们的
sadness is completely understandable.
悲伤是完全可以 理解的。
So Lucas, what do you think we can say instead?
所以卢卡斯，你觉得我们可以用什么来替代呢？
Hmm, maybe something like, I'm so sorry? Bingo.
嗯，也许类似于“I'm so sorry”？猜中了。
I'm so sorry is the ultimate classic go -to phrase.
“I'm so sorry”是终极经典的常用短语。
But let's pause here because learners often get confused.
但我们在这里停一下，因为学习者经常感到困惑。
Lucas, do you ever feel strange saying I'm sorry when you didn't do anything wrong?
卢卡斯，当你没有做错任何事却说“I'm sorry”时，你会不会觉得很奇怪？
Yes, absolutely.
是的，完全如此。
I used to think I'm sorry only means it's my fault.
我过去认为“I'm sorry”只意味着是我的错。
So I thought if I said I'm sorry about her cat, it meant I killed her cat.
所以我觉得如果我对她的猫说“I'm sorry”，就意味着我弄死了她的猫。
No way.
绝不可能。
That's a super common misconception.
这是一个超级普遍的误解。
In English, I'm sorry has two distinct jobs.
在英语中，“I'm sorry”有两项截然不同的工作。
One is apologizing for a mistake, but the other is showing sympathy.
一个是为错误道歉，另一个是表达同情。
When you say, I'm so sorry to hear that, or I'm so sorry you're going through this, you're saying,
当你在说“听到这个消息我很难过”或者“很遗憾你经历了这些”时，你其实在说，
my heart goes out to you.
我的心与你同在。
Oh, I'm so sorry you're going through this?
哦，“真遗憾你正在经历这些”？
I love that line.
我喜欢这句台词。
It sounds so compassionate and supportive.
听起来非常有同情心和支持力。
It really is.
确实如此。
Let's add a couple more informal everyday expressions.
让我们再加几个非正式的日常表达。
When a friend experiences a smaller disappointment, like failing a test or having a bad day, you can
当朋友经历较小的失望时，比如考试不及格或倒霉的一天，你可以
say, that's a total bummer.
说：“那真是太扫兴了。”
Or simply, that's tough. Bummer?
或者简单地说，“这太难了”。Bummer？
B -U -M -M -E -R?
B-U-M-M-E-R？
How do I use that? Yes.
我怎么使用它？是的。
A bummer is a casual noun for a disappointing situation.
Bummer是一个用来形容令人失望情况的随意名词。
For example, you missed the train?
例如，你错过了火车？
What a bummer.
真是一件倒霉的事。
And if a person is feeling down, you can say they are bummed out.
如果一个人感觉情绪低落，你可以说他们很沮丧。
Like, I'm really bummed out about the canceled concert. Oh.
比如，我对那场被取消的音乐会感到真的很沮丧。哦。
So if my coworker says his flight got canceled, I can say, oh man, that's a total bummer.
所以如果我的同事说他的航班被取消了，我可以大喊，“天哪，太扫兴了。”
He must be so bummed out.
他一定非常沮丧。
That's a great attempt.
这是一次很棒的尝试。
You used both forms perfectly.
你把这两种形式都完美地运用了。
You're getting the hang of it. Awesome.
你渐入佳境了。太棒了。
What about longer sentence structures?
那更长的句子结构呢？
Are there any go -to templates I can memorize? Absolutely.
有什么我可以背诵的现成模板吗？绝对有。
Let's build some scaffolded templates.
让我们建立一些阶梯式的模板。
The most important promise you can make to a sad friend is offering presents, not solutions.
你可以对一个悲伤的朋友做出的最重要的 承诺是提供礼物，而不是解决方案。
Here is template number one.
这是第一个模板。
I'm here for you.
我在这陪你。
I'm here for you.
我在这里陪着你。
Simple and powerful. Exactly.
简单而有力。完全正确。
You can expand it naturally.
你可以自然地扩展它。
I'm here for you if you need anything.
如果你需要任何东西，我都在这陪你。
Or, I'm here for you if you want to talk.
或者，如果你想聊聊，我一直都在。
Another wonderful template is, take all the time you need.
另一个绝妙的模板是，慢慢来，不用着急。
Take all the time you need.
花你需要的时间。
That gives them permission to grieve without feeling rushed, right?
这让他们有空间去悲伤而不会感到被催促，对吧？
Spot on.
说得太对了。
Now let's try a mini Qingjing mongi.
现在我们来尝试一个小的情景模拟。
A quick roleplay.
一次快速的角色扮演。
Imagine you are telling me that you failed your driving license test for the third time.
想象一下你正在告诉我，你第三次驾照考试挂了。
Try complaining to me.
试着向我抱怨一下。
Okay, let me try.
好吧，让我试试。
Rachel, I failed my driving test again today.
瑞秋，我今天驾照考试又没过。
I feel so hopeless and stupid.
我觉得自己好绝望、好蠢。
Soft, gentle voice.
轻柔、温和的声音。
Oh no, Lucas.
哦不，卢卡斯。
I'm so sorry to hear that.
听到这个我很难过。
That must be really frustrating.
那一定非常令人沮丧。
You put so much effort into practicing.
你为练习付出了那么多努力。
Wow, just hearing you say, that must be really frustrating, made me feel so understood.
哇，光是听到你说“那一定很令人沮丧”，就让我觉得被深深地理解了。
How did you build that sentence?
你是如何构建那个句子的？
Here's the magic formula.
这就是那个神奇的公式。
That must be plus feeling adjective.
That must be 加上表示感觉的形容词。
For example, that must be tough.
例如，那一定很艰难。
That must be exhausting.
那一定让人筋疲力尽。
Or, that must be heartbreaking.
或者，那一定令人心碎。
It shows you are putting yourself in their shoes.
这表明你设身处地为他们着想了。
Ah, that must be plus adjective.
啊，that must be 加上形容词。
That is such a versatile formula.
这是一个非常多功能的公式。
Now here's something crucial.
接下来是至关重要的一点。
Notice how my voice changed when I spoke to you.
注意当我跟你说话时，我的声音是如何改变的。
Wait, let me think.
等等，让我想想。
Yes, your voice became softer, lower in pitch, and you spoke a bit slower. Right.
是的，你的声音变柔和了，音高变低了，而且你说话慢了一点。对吧。
Pronunciation and intonation carry half of your emotional message.
发音和语调承载了一半的情感信息。
If you say, oh no, that must be frustrating.
如果你说，哦不，那一定很沮丧。
With a high, bouncy voice, it sounds fake or sarcastic.
用一种高亢、活泼的声音，听起来很假或者很讽刺。
In English, empathy uses soft, falling intonation.
在英语中，共情使用柔和、下降的语调。
You drop your pitch at the end of the sentence.
你在句尾会降低音高。
I'm so sorry.
我真的很抱歉。
That must be tough.
那一定很艰难。
So, you'd yell intonation is just as important as the vocabulary.
所以，你想说语调和词汇一样重要。
I'll remember to keep my voice warm and steady.
我会记得保持声音温暖和平稳。
Now let's step up our game with some advanced expressions and pragmatic strategies.
现在让我们通过一些高级表达和实用策略来提升我们的水平。
Lucas, in Western communication etiquette, people really appreciate having choices when they are stressed.
卢卡斯，在西方交流礼仪中，人们在压力大时真的很感激能有选择。
A very thoughtful question you can ask is, do you want to talk about it, or do you just need a distraction? Whoa.
你可以问的一个非常体贴的问题是，你想聊聊这件事，还是只是需要转移下注意力？哇。
Do you want to talk about it, or do you just need a distraction?
你想聊聊这件事，还是只是需要转移下注意力？
That is brilliant, because sometimes people want to vent, but other times they just want to grab a
这太棒了，因为有时人们想发泄，但其他时候他们只想去抓一个
coffee and think about something else. Exactly.
咖啡，想想别的。正是如此。
It shows deep respect for their emotional state.
这表现出对他们情绪状态的深切尊重。
And if they do want to talk, you can use a nice idiom.
如果你确实想聊聊，你可以用一个很好的习语。
I'm all ears.
我洗耳恭听。
I'm all ears?
我洗耳恭听？
Like, my whole body turned into giant ears?
就像我的全身都变成了一对巨大的耳朵？
Haha, that's a funny mental image.
哈哈，那真是一个有趣的心理画面。
Yes, it means I am listening attentively and patiently.
是的，这意味着我在专心且耐心地倾听。
Whenever you're ready, I'm all ears.
无论什么时候你准备好了，我都洗耳恭听。
I love that phrase.
我喜欢那个短语。
What about hang in there?
那“坚持下去”呢？
I hear that in American movies all the time.
我在美国电影里经常听到这句话。
Is that appropriate here?
这在这里合适吗？
Ah, hang in there.
啊，坚持住。
That's a great phrase for encouraging someone who is going through a long, difficult ordeal, like
对于鼓励那些正在经历漫长而艰难的磨难的人来说，这是一个极好的短语，比如
preparing for a huge bar exam or dealing with a tough month at work.
准备一场重大的律师资格考试，或者应对工作中艰难的一个月。
It means stay strong.
这意味着要保持坚强。
Don't give up.
不要放弃。
But here's the rule of thumb.
但这里有一个经验法则。
Use it after you validated their pain, not before.
在你确认了他们的痛苦之后再使用，而不是之前。
If you say, hang in there too quickly, it feels like rushing them.
如果你说得太快，就会让人感觉是在催促他们。
Got it.
明白了。
Step one, validate feelings.
第一步，确认感受。
Step two, offer presence.
第二步，提供陪伴。
Step three, give encouragement.
第三步，给予鼓励。
Like, hang in there if appropriate.
比如，在合适的时候说“坚持住”。
Order matters.
顺序很重要。
You are a star student, Lucas.
你是个明星学生，卢卡斯。
Now, let's put everything together in our 综合練習与之错, comprehensive practice and error correction segment.
现在，让我们把所有内容结合到我们的“综合练习与纠错”、综合练习和纠错环节中。
Let's rewind to last week's workplace situation.
让我们回顾到上周的工作场所情境。
Your colleague Sarah is crying because her cat passed away.
你的同事萨拉在哭，因为她的猫去世了。
I will play Sarah.
我来扮演萨拉。
Show me your transformation.
向我展示你的转变。
All right, I'm ready.
好的，我准备好了。
Let's do this.
我们做这个。
In a sad, gentle voice.
用一种悲伤、温柔的声音。
Lucas, my cat Whiskers passed away this morning.
卢卡斯，我的猫胡须今天早上去世了。
I miss her so much already.
我已经很想念她了。
Oh no, Sarah.
哦不，萨拉。
I'm so sorry to hear that.
听到这个消息我很抱歉。
That must be really heartbreaking for you.
这一定让你感到非常心碎。
Whiskers was such a sweet cat.
胡须曾是一只多么可爱的猫啊。
Yeah, I just feel so empty at home without her.
是的，没有她，我只是觉得家里好空虚。
I totally understand.
我完全理解。
Take all the time you need today.
今天你需要多少时间都可以。
I'm here for you if you want to talk or if you just need a distraction.
如果你想聊天，或者如果你只是需要一个分心的事物，我都在这陪你。
I'm all ears whenever you need anything. Wow.
无论你需要什么，我都洗耳恭听。哇。
Lucas, that was incredible.
卢卡斯，那太不可思议了。
Give me a virtual high five.
给我击个虚拟掌。
High five? Wow.
击掌？哇。
How did I do?
我做得怎么样？
Let's analyze why that was a 10 out of 10.
让我们分析一下为什么那是满分10分。
First, you used, I'm so sorry to hear that, to express true sympathy.
首先，你用了“听到这个消息我很遗憾”，来表达真正的同情。
Second, you used, that must be really heartbreaking, to validate her emotions.
第二，你用了“那一定真的很让人心碎”，来确认她的情绪。
Third, you gave her control with, if you want to talk or if you just need a distraction, and backed
第三，你通过“如果你想聊天，或者如果你只是需要分散注意力”把控制权交给了她，并且支持……
it up with, I'm all ears.
it up with, 我洗耳恭听。
Plus, your intonation was soft and sincere.
另外，你的语调柔和而真诚。
Zero chinglish, zero awkwardness.
零中式英语，零尴尬。
That felt so much better.
这感觉好多了。
It didn't feel robotic at all, and I didn't offer any weird unwanted advice like buying a new cat.
一点也不显得机械，而且我也没有提供任何像买只新猫那样古怪且不需要的建议。
Haha, yes.
哈哈，是的。
No replacement cat suggestions.
没有替代猫的建议。
That is a huge growth arc right there.
那真是一个巨大的成长轨迹。
Time flies when we're having fun.
欢乐的时光总是过得飞快。
Let's quickly summarize today's key points for our listeners.
让我们为听众快速总结一下今天的要点。
One, remember, avoid don't be sad or cheer up.
第一，记住，避免说“别难过”或“振作起来”。
Validate feelings instead with, I'm so sorry you're going through this, or that must be tough.
认可对方的感受，可以说：“听到你经历这些我很遗憾”或者“那一定很难熬”。
Two, remember, for everyday bad luck, use casual expressions like, that's a total bummer, or I'm
第二，记住，对于日常的不幸，使用随意的表达，比如“真是太糟糕了”或者我...
bummed out.
沮丧。
Three, remember, master the golden templates.
第三，记住，掌握黄金模板。
I'm here for you, and take all the time you need.
我会在你身边，你可以花任意需要的时间。
Four, remember, offer thoughtful choices.
第四，记住，提供体贴的选择。
Do you want to talk about it, or do you need a distraction?
你想聊聊这件事，还是需要点什么来转移注意力？
And use, I'm all ears.
并说：“我洗耳恭听。”
Five, remember, keep your pitch soft and use falling intonation to convey genuine warmth.
第五，记住，保持语调柔和，并用降调来传达真 诚的温暖。
I feel so much more confident now, Rachel.
我现在感觉自信多了，瑞秋。
I'm actually ready to handle these tricky emotional conversations in English.
我实际上已经准备好用英语处理这些棘手的情感对话了。
That's wonderful.
太棒了。
For our listeners at home, here is your practice assignment for this week.
对于收音机前的听众，这是你们这周的练习作业。
Pick one sentence from today, like, that must be tough.
从今天的内 容里挑一句，比如：“那一定很艰难。”
I'm here for you.
我会支持你的。
And practice saying it out loud in front of a mirror with a soft tone.
并练习用柔和的语调在镜子前大声说出来。
Practice makes progress.
练习造就进步。
If you enjoyed today's episode, please hit that subscribe button, give us a five -star review, and
如果你喜欢今天的节目，请点击订阅按钮，给我们五星好评，并
share TalkCast speaking with your friends.
分享 TalkCast 口语给你的朋友们。
You can also join our TalkCast membership for exclusive episode transcripts and bonus study guides.
你也可以加入我们的 TalkCast 会员，获取独家节目文稿和额外的学习指南。
Now, we want to hear from you.
现在，我们想听听大 家的意见。
Please leave a comment below telling us what oral English topic or awkward social situation would
请在下方留言告诉我们，你希望我们接下来涵盖什么英语口语话题或尴尬的社交情况。
you like us to cover next.
你希望我们接下来涵盖什么。
We read every comment and pick our favorite topics for upcoming episodes.
我们阅读每一条评论，并为接下来的节目挑选我们最喜欢的话题。
Thanks, everyone, for listening.
谢谢大家收听。
Bye -bye.
拜拜。
Until next time, keep listening, keep practicing, and stay warm out there. Goodbye.
下次见，继续收听，继续练习，外面注意保暖。再见。
