Interactive transcript · 234 lines
Hello, hello, everyone.
大家好，大家好。
Welcome back to TalkCastSpeaking, your favorite corner of the podcast world for mastering natural,
欢迎回到 TalkCastSpeaking，这是播客世界中你最喜欢的角落，用于掌握自然、
everyday English.
日常英语。
I'm your host, Emily, and today we are tackling a topic that makes almost everyone sweat a little bit.
我是你们的主持人艾米丽，今天我们要处理一个让每个人都微微出汗的话题。
Yes, we are talking about the art of saying no.
是的，我们正在讨论拒绝的艺术。
More specifically, how to decline an invitation politely, gracefully, and without ruining your
更具体地说，如何在不破坏你的社交关系的情况下，礼貌、优雅地拒绝邀请
social relationships.
社交关系。
Joining me today to navigate this social minefield is Jack, a junior marketing specialist who
今天和我一起在这个社交雷区中摸索的是杰克，他是一名初级营销专员，
recently started working at an international company.
最近开始在一家国际公司工作。
Welcome to the show, Jack.
欢迎来到节目，杰克。
Hi, Emily.
嗨，艾米丽。
Thank you so much for having me.
非常感谢邀请我。
And oh, boy, you hit the nail on the head.
天哪，你真的击中了要害。
Saying no is literally my biggest nightmare right now.
说不现在简直是我最大的噩梦。
I want to make a good impression at my new job, but sometimes I just can't make it to every social event.
我想在新工作里留下好印象，但有时我实在无法参加每个社交活动。
And I always end up sounding so rude.
而且我最后总是听起来这么粗鲁。
I totally understand, Jack.
我完全理解，杰克。
It's a massive challenge for many language learners.
这对许多语言学习者来说是一个巨大的挑战。
In fact, in many Asian cultures, we tend to be very indirect to save face.
事实上，在许多亚洲文化中， 我们倾向于非常委婉以保全面子。
But in English, if you are too indirect, people might get confused.
但在英语中，如果你太委婉，人们可能会感到困惑。
And if you are too direct, you might sound harsh.
而如果你太直接，你可能会显得很生硬。
Why don't you share a real -life example of what happened recently?
你为什么不分享一个最近发生的真实例子呢？
Oh, it was so embarrassing.
哦，太尴尬了。
Last Friday, my British colleague invited me to a pup crawl after a super long week.
上周五，在经历了超长的一周后，我的英国同事邀请我去酒吧巡游。
I was completely exhausted, so I just said, no, I cannot go.
我完全筋疲力尽了，所以我只是说，不，我不能去。
I want to sleep.
我想睡觉。
He looked so shocked and just said, oh, okay, and walked away.
他看起来很震惊，只说了句“哦，好吧”，然后就走开了。
The whole weekend, I felt so guilty.
整个周末，我都觉得很内疚。
Oh, dear.
哦，天哪。
Yes, I can see why he was shocked.
是的，我能理解为什么他会震惊。
While no, I cannot go.
尽管说“不行，我不能去”，
I want to sleep is grammatically perfect.
“我想睡觉”在语法上是完美的。
It's way too blunt for English social standards.
按照英语社交标准，这实在是太直率了。
It almost sounds like you're saying, your invitation is boring, and sleeping is more important than
这听起来几乎就像你在说，你的邀请很无聊，而睡觉比……更重要
hanging out with you.
和你一起闲逛。
To fix this, we need to use a simple three -step formula.
为了解决这一点，我们需要使用一个简单的三步公式。
Softener, decline, and alternative.
缓和语、拒绝和替代方案。
Let's start with the first step, softeners.
让我们从第一步开始，即缓和语。
Jack, do you know what a softener is?
杰克，你知道什么是缓和语吗？
Mmm, is it something like a cushion?
嗯，它是不是有点像一个垫子？
Like, making the bad news feel softer? Exactly.
比如，让坏消息感觉更柔和一点？完全正确。
Spot on.
完全命中。
Softners are polite phrases that prepare the listener for a no so it doesn't feel like a slap in the face.
缓和语是一些礼貌的短语，可以让听者对拒绝有所心理准备，这样就不会觉得像是在脸上挨了一巴掌。
Instead of starting with no, we start with appreciation or a positive feeling.
我们不以“不”开头，而是以感谢或积极的感觉开头。
For example, I'd love to, but...
例如，我很想去，但是……
Or, thank you so much for asking, but...
或者，非常感谢你询问，但是……
Or, that sounds like so much fun, but...
或者，听起来好像非常有趣，但是……
Oh, wow.
哦，哇。
That already sounds so much friendlier.
这听起来已经更友好了。
So, instead of no, I say, that sounds like so much fun, but... Precisely.
所以，我不说“不”，而是说“听起来很有趣，但是……”正是如此。
Now, let's look at step two, decline and reason.
现在，我们来看第二步，拒绝和理由。
Many Chinese learners make a classic mistake here.
许多中国学习者在这里犯了一个经典的错误。
They often say, I have something to do.
他们经常说，我有事要做。
Jack, do you say this?
杰克，你会这么说吗？
Guilty as charged.
难辞其咎。
I say, I have something to do literally every time.
我说，我简直每次都说我有事要做。
Isn't that just translating woyoushi directly into English?
这不就是把“我有事”直接翻译成英语吗？
It is, and that is exactly the problem.
是的，这正是问题所在。
To a native English speaker saying, I have something to do sounds very mysterious, evasive, or even secretive.
对母语是英语的人来说，说“我有事”听起来非常神秘、逃避，甚至神神秘秘的。
It makes people wonder, what is this secret thing he has to do?
这让人不禁纳闷，他到底有什么神秘的事要做？
Does he just not want to hang out with me?
他只是不想跟我出去玩吗？
Oh, no.
哦，不。
I had no idea.
我毫无头绪。
So, what should I say instead of something to do?
所以，我该说些什么来代替“有事要做”呢？
A much more natural and polite alternative is, I have plans, or I've already made plans.
一个更加自然且礼貌的替代说法是“我有安排了”或者“我已经有约了”。
It sounds completely normal, and it politely closes the door to further questions.
听起来完全正常，而且它能礼貌地堵住进一步追问的可能。
Nobody will ask you what your plans are because it's respected as personal time.
没有人会问你的计划是什么，因为它被当作个人时间而受到尊重。
Let's try combining the softener with this new phrase.
我们来尝试把缓冲语和这个新短语结合起来。
Imagine I invite you to lunch today, but you are too busy.
想象一下我今天邀请你吃午饭，但你太忙了。
Okay, let me try.
好的，让我试试。
I'd love to, but I've already made plans today. Beautiful.
我很想去，但我今天已经有约了。太棒了。
That was perfect.
这完美极了。
Now, what if you don't actually have plans, but you are just completely overwhelmed with work?
现在，如果你实际上并没有计划，只是工作应接不暇呢？
How do we say that politely?
我们该如何礼貌地表达这一点呢？
Maybe I am very busy?
也许我很忙？
You can say that, but let's upgrade your vocabulary with some common idioms.
你可以这么说，不过让我们用一些常见的习语来升级你的词汇量。
The first one is to have a lot on one's plate.
第一个是手头有很多事，盘子里装满了。
Imagine a buffet plate piled so high with food that nothing else can fit.
想象一下，一个自助餐盘子堆满了食物，以至于再也放不下别的东西了。
It means you have too many responsibilities or tasks to handle.
这意味着你有太多的责任或任务需要处理。
Ah, a lot on my plate.
啊，我手头有很多事。
That's a great mental picture.
这真是一个很好的心理画面。
So I can say I've got a lot on my plate right now. Perfect.
所以我可以说我正好手头有一堆事。完美。
Another excellent idiom is tied up.
另一个极好的习语是 tied up。
Like, your hands are tied with a rope, so you can't move or do anything else.
就像你的手被绳子绑住了，所以你无法移动或做其他任何事情。
For example, I'm a bit tied up with work today.
例如，我今天工作有点脱不开身。
Oh, I like that.
哦，我喜欢那个。
I'm a bit tied up.
我有一点脱不开身。
Let me try to pronounce that.
让我试着发音。
Is there a connection between tied and up?
tied和up之间有什么联系吗？
I'm so glad you noticed. Yes.
很高兴你注意到了。是的。
This is a major pronunciation tip for our listeners.
这对我们的听众来说是一个重大的发音技巧。
We don't say tied up as two separate words.
我们不会把 tied up 当作两个独立的单词来读。
We link them together.
我们把它们连在一起。
The d sound at the end of tied slides right into up, making it sound like tied up.
tied结尾的d音直接滑进up里，听起来就像 tied up。
Let's practice that together.
让我们一起练习一下。
Jack, say tied up.
杰克，说一句 tied up。
Tied up.
Tied up.
I'm a bit tied up today. Yes.
我今天有点忙。是的。
You sound like a native speaker already.
听起来你已经像个母语者了。
Now, let's talk about step three of our formula, alternative.
现在，我们来谈谈我们公式的第三步，替代方案。
This is where we keep the relationship warm.
这就是我们保持关系融洽的地方。
If you actually want to hang out with the person in the future, you can ask for a rain check.
如果你未来真的想和这个人一起出去玩，你可以要求改天。
Have you heard this term before, Jack? Yes.
杰克，你以前听说过这个术语吗？是的。
I've heard it in movies, but I never understood it.
我在电影里听过，但我从来没有理解过它。
Does it have to do with the weather?
这和天气有关吗？
Ha ha.
哈哈。
Not anymore.
不再是了。
It actually comes from baseball history.
它实际上源于棒球历史。
Back in the day, if a baseball game was rained out and canceled, the spectators were given a
过去，如果一场棒球比赛因雨取消，观众会得到
physical ticket called a rain check so they could come back and watch a future game for free.
一张被称为延期票的实体票，这样他们 就可以免费回来观看以后的比赛。
Today in daily conversation, asking, can I take a rain check simply means, can we reschedule this
如今在日常对话中，问“我能改期吗”简单来说就是，我们能把这个重新安排
for another time?
到另外的时间吗？
That is so interesting.
这太有趣了。
So, if my colleague invites me for a drink and I can't go, I can say, I'd love to, but I'm a bit
所以，如果我的同事邀请我去喝一杯而我不能去，我会说，我很想去，但我有点
tied up today.
今天忙不开。
Can I take a rain check? Brilliant.
我能改天吗？太棒了。
You've got it.
你懂了。
But here is a very important cultural note, Jack.
但这里有一个非常重要的文化提示，杰克。
In Chinese social situations, we often say, xia ziba, or next time, as a polite way to end a
在中国社交场合，我们经常说“下次吧”，作为结束对话的礼貌方式
conversation, even if we never plan to meet up.
对话，即使我们从不打算见面。
But in English, if you ask for a rain check, the other person will assume you are making a genuine
但在英语中，如果你要求改天，对方会认为你是在做一个真诚的
promise to hang out later.
承诺以后一起出去玩。
If you keep saying rain check but never follow up, they might think you're avoiding them or being insincere.
如果你一直说改天却从不跟进，他们可能会认为你在躲避他们或不够真诚。
Oh, wow.
噢，哇。
That is a huge cultural difference.
这是一个巨大的文化差异。
So, if I really don't want to go out with them ever again, I shouldn't use rain check? Exactly.
所以，如果我真的再也不想和他们出去了，我不应该用改天？正是如此。
If you don't want to reschedule, just stick to steps one and two.
如果你不想 重新安排，只要坚持第一步和第二步。
Thanks for the invite, but I've got plans.
谢谢你的邀请，但我已经有安排了。
And leave it at that.
就到此为止吧。
No need to offer an alternative.
没必要提供替代方案。
That makes so much sense.
这太有道理了。
It saves everyone's time and avoids awkwardness later. Absolutely.
它节省了每个人的时间，并避免了后来的尴尬。绝对是这样。
Now, what if something unexpected happens at the very last minute?
现在，如果在最后一分钟发生了意想不到的事情怎么办？
For example, you promised to meet a friend, but your car broke down, or your boss gave you emergency work.
例如，你答应和一个朋友见面，但你的车坏了，或者你的老板给你安排了紧急工作。
How do you decline then?
那你该如何拒绝呢？
Oh, that's a tough one.
哦，那是个棘手的问题。
Maybe something urgent happened?
也许发生了什么紧急的事情？
That works, but a very common phrasal verb we use is to come up.
这行得通，但我们使用的一个非常常见的短语动词是发生。
When we say something has come up, it means an unexpected event has occurred that requires your
当我们说有什么事情发生时，这意味着发生了一个意外事件，需要你
immediate attention.
立即关注。
It's polite, and it naturally explains why you have to cancel at the last minute without requiring
这很礼貌，它自然地解释了为什么你必须在最后一分钟取消，而不需要
you to share too many personal details.
你分享太多个人细节。
Oh, something has come up.
哦，有事情发生了。
Let me practice that.
让我练习一下。
I'm so sorry, but something has come up, so I can't make it tonight. Perfect.
非常抱歉，但是有点事情发生了，所以我今晚去不了了。完美。
You're getting the hang of this so quickly, Jack.
你这么快就掌握了诀窍，杰克。
Now, let's put everything we've learned into practice with some real -life roleplay.
现在，让我们通过一些现实生活中的角色扮演把我们学到的东西付诸实践。
I'm going to invite you to a couple of different events, and I want you to decline using our new strategies.
我要邀请你参加几个不同的活动，我希望你用我们的新策略来拒绝。
Are you ready?
你准备好了吗？
I'm a bit nervous, but let's do it.
我有点紧张，但我们开始吧。
Give me your best shot. Excellent.
尽管使出你的最好水平。太棒了。
Scenario one.
情景一。
I am inviting you to watch a new movie this Saturday, but you are super tired and have a mountain of
我这周六想邀请你去看一部新电影，但你累极了，而且有一大堆
laundry and chores to catch up on at home.
要在家赶着做完的衣服和杂务。
Okay, let me try.
好的，让我试试。
Hey, Jack.
嘿，杰克。
Are you free this Saturday?
你这周六有空吗？
I have an extra ticket to the new Marvel movie, and I'd love for you to join me.
我有一张多出来的漫威新电影票，很希望你能和我一起去。
Oh, that sounds awesome, Emily.
哦，听起来棒极了，埃米莉。
I wish I could, but I've got a lot on my plate this weekend, and I need to catch up on some chores
我真希望可以，但我这周末手头有很多事要忙，我需要赶着做完一些
at home.
家里的杂务。
Can I take a rain check? Wow.
我能改天再约吗？哇。
Ten out of ten, Jack.
十分满分，杰克。
That was absolutely flawless.
那绝对无懈可击。
You used a fantastic softener.
你用了个极好的缓和语。
That sounds awesome.
听起来棒极了。
A polite and relatable reason, chores to catch up on, and you kept the door open with a rain check.
一个礼貌且引起共鸣的理由，有待完成的杂务，而且你用改天再约的方式留了余地。
How did that feel?
感觉怎么样？
It felt amazing.
感觉太棒了。
It felt very polite, and I didn't feel guilty at all because I was offering to reschedule.
感觉很有礼貌，我一点也不觉得内疚，因为我主动提出要重新安排时间。
This is a game changer.
这是一个游戏规则改变者。
It really is.
确实是这样。
Let's try scenario two, which is a bit higher stakes.
咱们来试试情景二，这涉及的利害关系稍微高一点。
Imagine your company boss invites you to a last -minute dinner tonight, but you really just want to
想象一下，你的公司老板今晚临时邀请你吃晚饭，但你其实只想
go home and relax.
回家放松。
How do you handle this professionally?
你如何专业地处理这件事？
Oh, the boss invitation.
哦，老板的邀请。
This is terrifying.
这太可怕了。
If I say I've got a lot on my plate or I want to sleep, it might look like I don't care about my job. Exactly.
如果我说我手头有很多事或者我想睡觉，这看起来可能像是对工作不上心。确实如此。
With bosses or clients, we want to be highly respectful and professional.
对于老板或客户，我们希望表现得高度尊敬且专业。
Instead of saying you're tired, we can use the term prior commitment or family commitment.
我们不用说自己累了，而是可以使用术语“先前承诺”或“家庭承诺”。
This shows that you already promised your time to someone else, which is completely unchallengeable.
这表明你已经把时间承诺给别人了，这是完全无可挑剔的。
Prior commitment?
先前承诺？
Like a previous promise?
就像先前的承诺？
That sounds so elegant.
听起来太优雅了。
Yes, it's very professional.
是的，非常专业。
Let's try the roleplay.
我们来试试角色扮演。
Okay, I'm ready.
好的，我准备好了。
Hey, Jack.
嘿，杰克。
A few of us from the executive team are going out for a fancy dinner tonight to celebrate the new
我们管理团队的几个人今晚要出去吃一顿丰盛的晚餐，来庆祝新
campaign launch.
活动的推出。
We'd love for you to join us.
我们很希望你能加入我们。
Thank you so much for the invitation, Emily.
非常感谢你的邀请，埃米莉。
I would love to celebrate with the team, but unfortunately, I have a prior family commitment tonight
我很想和团队一起庆祝，但不幸的是，我今晚有一个先前的家庭承诺
that I can't break.
这是我无法打破的。
I hope you all have a wonderful evening.
祝大家度过一个美妙的夜晚。
Oh, Jack, that was outstanding.
哦，杰克，那太出色了。
Prior family commitment and ending with a warm wish for their evening, that is absolute gold standard.
以家庭承诺告终，并对他们的夜晚送上温暖的祝福，这绝对是黄金标准。
Your boss would be completely understanding and you would leave a highly professional impression.
你的老板会完全理解，而且你会留下高度专业的印象。
Wow, I am so relieved.
哇，我太释怀了。
Knowing these specific phrases takes away all the anxiety of saying no.
了解这些特定的短语可以消除说不时的所有焦虑。
I don't have to lie or make up elaborate stories anymore. Exactly.
我再也不用撒谎或编造详尽的故事了。确实如此。
Politeness in English isn't about being dishonest.
英语中的礼貌并不意味着不诚实。
It's about framing your boundaries in a way that respects the other person's feelings.
这是关于以尊重他人感受的方式来划定你的界限。
And you did that beautifully today.
你今天这件事做得真是太出色了。
Thank you so much, Emily.
谢谢你，艾米莉。
This was incredibly helpful.
这非常有帮助。
I feel so much more confident about socializing with my international colleagues now.
我现在对与国际同事进行社交感到自信多了。
You are very welcome, Jack.
杰克，不用客气。
You've made so much progress today.
你今天取得了很大进步。
Now, before we wrap up, let's quickly summarize today's key takeaways for our listeners.
现在，在结束之前，让我们快速总结一下今天听众的关键收获。
First, remember the golden formula.
首先，记住黄金公式。
Softener plus decline plus alternative.
缓和语加拒绝加替代方案。
Second, avoid saying I have something to do and use I have plans instead.
第二，避免说我有事要做，而是改用我有计划。
Third, use idioms like a lot on my plate or tied up to politely describe being busy.
第三，使用诸如手头有很多事或脱不开身这样的习语来礼貌地形容忙碌。
And remember the linking pronunciation tied up.
并记住连读发音 tied up。
Fourth, use something has come up for last minute cancellations.
第四，对于最后一刻的取消，使用有突发情况。
And finally, use can I take a rain check only when you genuinely want to reschedule.
最后，只有当你真心想改期时，才使用我可以改期吗。
What a fantastic summary.
多么精彩的总结啊。
I've written all of these down in my notebook. Awesome.
我已经把这些都写在我的笔记本上了。太棒了。
And to all our wonderful listeners out there, we highly encourage you to practice these phrases in
我们强烈鼓励广大所有听众在
your daily lives.
你们的日常生活中练习这些短语。
Try writing a sentence using one of today's expressions in the comments section below.
尝试在下方评论区用今天的一个表达写一个句子。
We love reading your feedback and supporting your language learning journey.
我们喜欢阅读您的反馈并支持您的语言学习之旅。
Yes, please leave a comment.
是的，请留下评论。
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如果您喜欢今天的节目，别忘了订阅，与...
friends, and consider joining our TalkCast membership for exclusive learning materials.
朋友们分享 TalkCast 演讲，并考虑加入我们的 TalkCast 会员以获取独家学习资料。
Thank you, Jack.
谢谢你，杰克。
And thank you, everyone, for tuning in.
谢谢大家收听。
Let us know in the comments what oral English topics you'd like us to cover next.
请在评论区告诉我们您接下来想让我们涵盖哪些英语口语主题。
And we might just feature your suggestion in our next episode.
我们可能会在下一期节目中采用您的建议。
Until next time, keep practicing, stay confident, and we'll see you in the next cast. Bye.
直到下次，继续练习，保持自信，我们下期节目见。再见。
Goodbye, everyone.
再见，大家。
Thank you.
谢谢你。
